I have spoken of my love/hate relationship with plaid/tartan before. However, there is no denying the warmth and coziness and sense of history it conjures up, at least for those with a Scottish or Irish background. Today, I experienced the absolute best of tartan as I watched my daughter and her fellow Highland dance students perform for the residents of a local nursing home. My daughter is shy, but not shy. She is quiet as a mouse in school, but yammers on and on at home. She blushes deeply when performing, yet secretly loves it and enjoys the spotlight, though she is hard pressed to make eye contact as she dances.
Today, while watching her dance - and even more so, watching her smile quietly while waiting her turn to take the stage - I felt my heart swell with such pride that it fairly hurt to swallow. At times, I feel a rush of panic as I realize that my years of having a "little girl" are dwindling, and I have a sense of urgency to drink in all of her childhood while it lasts. Of course, there are times that I am a cranky old mother who doesn't see the shine on everything as I should, but I do know that my children are such incredible gifts and that they will only be children for so long. It is our job as parents to make the effort...to spend the time and enjoy the moments while they are still within reach. I know only too well, that my daughter's little hand will reach for mine only so much longer. While my boys are still quite affectionate and loving to me, they are not as dependent on me as perhaps I would like. They years have a way of passing us by and we wake up one day with children that are perhaps taller than us, and certainly full of opinions that we may or may not share. Indeed, it is our job to spend as much time as we can in the days leading up to this half-strength cutting of the apron strings, and of course be there for when our older children do admit to needing us.
Today, while watching her dance - and even more so, watching her smile quietly while waiting her turn to take the stage - I felt my heart swell with such pride that it fairly hurt to swallow. At times, I feel a rush of panic as I realize that my years of having a "little girl" are dwindling, and I have a sense of urgency to drink in all of her childhood while it lasts. Of course, there are times that I am a cranky old mother who doesn't see the shine on everything as I should, but I do know that my children are such incredible gifts and that they will only be children for so long. It is our job as parents to make the effort...to spend the time and enjoy the moments while they are still within reach. I know only too well, that my daughter's little hand will reach for mine only so much longer. While my boys are still quite affectionate and loving to me, they are not as dependent on me as perhaps I would like. They years have a way of passing us by and we wake up one day with children that are perhaps taller than us, and certainly full of opinions that we may or may not share. Indeed, it is our job to spend as much time as we can in the days leading up to this half-strength cutting of the apron strings, and of course be there for when our older children do admit to needing us.
Today my girl and I also took in a viewing of the new High School Musical movie. All of the dancing and singing was right up Sophie's alley (and mine, as a lover of musicals), and I found myself sneaking peeks at her reactions to the different scenes as she sat a few seats over with her friends. I found myself wishing she was seated right next to me so we could enjoy it together. As luck would have it, half-way through the movie I felt a little person shuffle past her seatmates and settle herself onto my lap. As she leaned back against me and I breathed in the scent of her hair, I felt just so insanely happy. Happy to be there with her, and happy that she is neither too big nor too grown up to fit snugly into my arms.
Life is good...
Showing me her beach finds this summer...
No comments:
Post a Comment